Healing After Placing a Baby for Adoption

Placing your baby for adoption is one of the most emotional, complex, and personal decisions you can make. Life after placement can feel overwhelming and uncertain. You may be feeling waves of grief, relief, sadness, or confusion—and you may be wondering if what you’re feeling is normal.

You are not alone. Many birth mothers experience these same emotions, and support is available to guide you through your healing journey. Whether today is your first day after placement or weeks later, there are compassionate people, resources, and communities ready to help. You don’t have to do this alone.

Learn more about coping after adoption

This guide will help you understand what you’re feeling, recognize when to ask for help, connect with meaningful support systems, and begin reclaiming your goals and future with hope and confidence.

Understanding Your Emotions After Placement

Placing a baby for adoption brings a wide range of emotions. They can feel intense, conflicting, and unpredictable. Naming and understanding them is a powerful first step toward healing.

There’s No “Right” Way to Feel

Feeling conflicting and complex emotions after placing your child with an adoptive family is completely normal and natural. Many birth mothers describe emotional ups and downs that shift day to day. One moment, you may feel at peace with your decision. The next, you may question everything. Healing isn’t a straight line—and that’s okay.

You may ask yourself: “What have I done?” “Was this the right choice?” “Will I always feel like this?” These questions are common, especially in the early days. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, without judgment. 

Grief vs. Depression – When to Reach Out

Grief is a natural part of adoption. But sometimes, emotions become heavier than expected. If you find yourself feeling hopeless, emotionally numb, struggling with daily tasks, or uninterested in things you used to enjoy—and these feelings persist—it may be a sign of depression.

Understand the difference between grief and depression

If you're unsure about what you're feeling, your adoption specialist can connect you with a compassionate, licensed therapist who understands adoption-related grief. Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a brave and loving step in your healing.

Healthy Ways to Cope and Heal

There are supportive, meaningful ways to begin your healing process. Here are some strategies that may help you feel more grounded and hopeful.

Talk to People You Trust

You don’t have to carry everything alone. Talking with someone—whether it’s a friend, a family member, your adoption specialist (available 24/7), or a therapist—can make a real difference. Even one heartfelt conversation can help ease the emotional burden.

Join a Birth Mom Community

Hearing from others who’ve made the same choice can be powerful. Birth mother communities provide comfort, shared experiences, and true understanding. Some places to start include:

• Birth Mom Buds
• BraveLove
• Reddit: r/BirthMothers
• Facebook Groups like “Birth Moms Today” and “Adoption Healing & Support”

Whether you choose to share or just listen, these spaces can help you feel seen and supported.

Maintain Connection Through Open Adoption

If you’ve chosen open adoption, maintaining a relationship with the adoptive family can offer deep reassurance. You may exchange messages, receive photos, or plan visits—depending on your agreement.

For many birth mothers, these connections are comforting reminders that their child is safe, loved, and thriving. Your bond with the adoptive family can be another layer of support.

Focus on Your Healing and Future

This is also a time to reconnect with yourself. Give yourself permission to focus on what brings you joy:

• Dive back into hobbies you love
• Pursue education or career goals
• Practice self-care and nurture your well-being
• Revisit dreams that may have been set aside

Healing isn’t about forgetting—it’s about moving forward with strength and honoring your journey.

We’re Still Here – Every Step of the Way

Placing your child for adoption doesn’t mean you’re left on your own. Your adoption specialist is always here to support you—whether it’s a middle-of-the-night conversation, help connecting with a therapist, or guidance navigating your relationship with the adoptive family.

This lasting support is part of our promise to you—not just as a birth mother, but as a person who matters.

Call our 24/7 Adoption Hotline

Meet Michelle – A Birth Mom Who Understands

Michelle placed her baby for adoption—and now, she works with American Adoptions to help women like you. She knows how painful this path can feel—and how healing is possible.

If you want to speak with someone who’s been there, Michelle is here for you. Her story, and those of many other birth mothers, show that hope and healing are real.

Hear more stories or request free information if you're ready to talk.

You Are Not Alone

We see your strength. We know your heart. And we’re here to remind you: you are not alone.

Choosing adoption was a decision made from deep love and courage. That same love can now be turned inward—to care for yourself, honor your story, and step forward with hope.

Healing is possible. Joy is possible. And peace is possible.

Let us help you choose a brighter future—starting today.